so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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