how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
