Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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