you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
