I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
