We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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