You're completely useless in the revolution.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
