This girl is more easily done than said...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
