that's an acceptable place to lick
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
