we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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