Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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