it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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