But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
