A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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