I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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