What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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