Non-Jews are for practice
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.