Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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