I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
