question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
