Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall