Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.

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(248): the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it. http://tfl.nu/bv5q

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants

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(403): and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants http://tfl.nu/tpip

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(801): View more from Utah

You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.

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(801): You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night. http://tfl.nu/ij9z

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(828): View more from North Carolina

So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.

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(828): So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me. http://tfl.nu/t0l7

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(618): View more from Illinois

i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...

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(618): i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw... http://tfl.nu/24ry

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.

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(412): I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate. http://tfl.nu/bucy

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(419): View more from Ohio

apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"

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(419): apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty" http://tfl.nu/fxst

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(325): View more from Texas

You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.

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(325): You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt. http://tfl.nu/r2sr

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(256): View more from Alabama

OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE

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(256): OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE http://tfl.nu/qfju

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me

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(615): Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me http://tfl.nu/3qkc

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(347): View more from New York

Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.

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(347): Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds. http://tfl.nu/v5xi

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(619): View more from California

Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands

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(619): Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands http://tfl.nu/hu3j

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(720): View more from Colorado

My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future

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(720): My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future http://tfl.nu/mos1

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(206): View more from Washington

No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.

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(206): No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt. http://tfl.nu/84n0

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(925): View more from California

I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy

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(925): I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy http://tfl.nu/28xl

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