Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.