New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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