I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
