Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
