no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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