CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
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holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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