Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
