What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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