hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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