Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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