i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
