youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila