My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
It can also be a hat.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.