i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place