She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
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I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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