i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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