things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
