just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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