JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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