carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize