How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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