if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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