Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
thus making me awesome and them whores
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize