around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
