The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
