shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
