P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
