How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
