where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
