Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
