Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
