I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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