Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Randomize
