A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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