he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize